With the holiday season just around the corner, this time of year usually brings feelings of joy and comfort. It is a time when we often are surrounded by family and friends, celebrating the season and the highs of the past year. However, for those who have experienced a loss, the holiday season can be very challenging. Whether this is the first year celebrating without your loved one, or the fifth, missing someone important is never easy. In today’s blog, we will touch on a few things we can do to prepare for the holiday season, even in our times of grief.
Make a Plan (And a Plan B)
While you may think that just “going with the flow” would be the easiest way to handle the holidays after loss, this can often lead to anxiety and unease around what to expect. Having a plan will help to take some of this burden off your chest and give you a direction to follow. This will also help others to understand what you might like to do, such as preparing a meal or decorating, and what you’d like to delegate to others. When you’re making your plan, also think about your “Plan B”. If you come to Thanksgiving morning and the idea of leaving the house and gathering with your entire extended family is just too much to bear, Plan B might be a simple dinner at home with your immediate family. No matter the plan, allow yourself time to move through it at your pace and adjust when needed.
Create a New Tradition
The holidays are steeped in tradition- from the historical tradition of why and how we celebrate right down to the simpler family traditions. For some, the thought of carrying on as they always would after the loss of a loved one is unbearable. If that is the case, consider creating a new tradition to honor your loved one. Traditions are meant to grow and change with us and finding a new way to incorporate your loved one into the season will help to keep their memory close to you in this time.
Feel Your Feelings
You may feel inclined to fall into the idea that you must “be strong” or “put on a brave face” for your family and friends, acting like everything is normal. But the truth of the matter is, nothing is normal. At times like this, allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you need. That may be sadness, anger, even joy. None of these emotions are wrong and everyone’s grief journey is unique to them.
Take Care of Yourself
Most importantly, take care of yourself. You know what is best for you, you know what you can and cannot handle. Allow yourself time to rest, reflect and recharge when needed. We cannot pour from an empty cup and taking care of ourselves is of the utmost importance, especially during times of grief. Surround yourself with loved ones who will support you through this time and know that you can take everything day by day.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and holidays can be some of the toughest times after the death of a loved one. This is part of the grief journey we all must face, and more than ever, a time to be gentle with yourself.
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